Things were going well for me. I spent 6 years traveling North America (2014 - 2020). Now my mind is collapsing, so it feels. I was never happy. But there was finally some peace. Unfortunately, I became complacent. There was more I should have been doing. There was more I should have been striving for. I shouldn't have given up the pizza job and left Tucson AZ back in 2018. I should have been focusing on my physical health as well - join a gym, stop smoking, add in some supplements (I recently started a Super Greens and a protein supplement). And, I have cut back on the smoking (tobacco). But, I'm not in very good shape (mentally). I can't stop thinking about "the narrow gates that lead to life". I already mentioned in a previous post how much my OCD tortures me. I start a new drug for it soon.
We should always be working on improving ourselves in every which way possible. The search never ends until we've merged with God... maybe even then it still isn't over! I started reading a Wayne Dyer book - "Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life". I'm about seventy pages into it... maybe it's changing my thoughts a little. Actually, any input into our minds is going to alter our thoughts. This is where the importance of picking our friends and those who we associate with comes in.
I finished the book of Sirach in the Old Testament today. What did I learn? Blessed and wise is the man who fears God! I also started a book which I would recommend to any Christian - "Philothea, or an Introduction to the Devout Life" by Saint Francis de Sales. I always try to read as much as I can. There's not much chess left in my life. Although, I may fly out to the National Open in Las Vegas in June (or July, don't know the exact date) if my mental health improves. I'm in no condition to be traveling or going anywhere right now. All is not well, but I've been worse.
There will be another day!
-Lizzi
