My Amazon Kindle Chess Book

Yes, I uploaded my first ebook that is about chess. Here is the link to my Kindle book - "What You Need to Know Before Your First Chess Tournament".  Please read, rate and review!  All of my Kindle books are available for purchase for $1.75 regardless of the length in page numbers with the exception of my (short) memoir which you can buy for 99 cents.  

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end and it looks like this saying can now apply to my official chess career.  I don't believe I will play in any more tournaments.  I streamed a video on Twitch.TV about why I'm giving up the game.  Essentially, it all comes down to focusing.  Unless you are an elite chess professional, there's just no money in the game.  Chess has been good to me, I'll still play and broadcast online games from time to time and I willl still keep up the posts here at this blog.

Don't forget to check out all of my web presence through the links at the footer of this blog - "Terlizzi:  Life & Games".  'till next time, friends!

- Lizzi

Let's Get Real #LGR

Life is hard. We all know this. I am working around 20 - 25 hours a week now and thought there for a while that I may have bitten off more than I can chew. I'm delivering pizzas in Saint Louis, Missouri and it really sucks! But, we all have to start somewhere. Mid 30's and just now trying to build a resume. But, let's get real! Life is hard! You can't half-ass your endeavours. No, success takes a lot of work. This has been a recent rude awakening for me. I very recently published my first Amazon Kindle book that is about chess. I hired an amazing graphic designer from Africa (check out twenty4hrdesign on Fiverr.com) to design the cover for it. I'm starting to realize that if you're going to do something, it's either go all-out or don't bother at all.. otherwise, you are just wasting your time. It looks as though things are finally starting to work out for me. I've got more money coming in every month and finally working hard to build my brand - "Cultured Monk Media". I recently re-opened the personal homepage - https://calvinterlizzi.com I'm going to start selling "Cultured Monk Media" merchandise when I get a little bigger web prescence and following. I have a couple ideas for my brand's slogans. I still have a lot of thoughts about going into professional gambling... bought a bunch of books on the subject a couple months ago. Yah, sounds so cool! And, obviously can potentially pay a Hell of a lot better than chess. I am in a room from someone's house. I found a pretty good deal. One of my roommates has two dogs. I love animals - especially dogs! Wildlife has always been a fascination of mine.p Anyways, guess that's all. And, sorry it's been so long since I've posted! Life is hard, let's get real! - Lizzi

Update 4-20-2021

 I'm opening up my homepage again - culturedmonk.com  Yeah, I just said I wasn't going to do anymore websites or Youtube videos in my last post, but I've got a lot to say and share with the World - I always have!  That being said, it will still be semi-anonymous.  I'm not opening up a domain in my full name again.

I started going to group therapy here at the home I'm staying.  They drive us to the Outpatient Services in a bus.  I do this on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  Today I learned the importance of getting enough protein if you are a highly stressed individual.  Interesting!  I just started taking protein supplements a week ago.  I bought a few other supplements off of Amazon as well.  I get a lot of stuff delivered here.  Thank you Uncle Sam for that stimulus check!  jeje!  I've bought a lot of supplements because of how skinny I have got.  I'm well over six feet tall, and I weigh 135... I'm wasting away.  I had a psychiatrist tell me I'm feeling like shit because I'm not eating.  Also been buying a lot of books off Amazon.  I'll review some of them here on my blog.  I'm looking forward to reading UG Krishnamurti's "Thought is Your Enemy".  This guy is a genius.  I read 3 other books of his early last year.  He tells us that there is nothing mystical about the natural state - it's a biological transformation rather than a spiritual transformation.  

I started reading the Bible every day.  Going to keep at it!  I had a spiritual friend and author tell me that reading the words of Christ has healing power in itself, reading the Bible can heal you apart from just learning the teachings.  Yes, I want to be Holy.  Holiness is happiness. 

Matthew 6:33  "But seek first his Kingdom and his righteousness and all else will be added unto you"

That's all for today.

-Lizzi   

Self-Help, Philosophy, School...

 I once was obsessed with getting comments and views and subscribers on my blogs and Youtube channel.  I once had someone tell me to simply write for myself!  Indeed, writing for yourself can be quite therapeutic.  

Not a whole lot going on in my life right now.  I tried holding another job, again I failed.  You hear a lot of self-help "gurus" talking about how you need to fail more.  Failure is what makes us grow.  This is true to a point but sometimes can be wayyyyyyy off, for there is such thing as setting yourself up for failure, which is what I did this past week.  I gave fast food a shot and failed miserably.  Low self-esteem, actually... NO self-esteem, it keeps me from being a productive member of society.  Thinking you are worthless can actually lead to being worthless (in some ways).  Confidence is 99% of everything. Confidence and self-esteem is the most valuable thing anyone can take away from you!

I've been reading a lot - philosophy and foreign language.... currently almost finished with a book on stoicism written by one Ward Farnsworth. Quite interesting his book is!  I picked back up my Francais studies.  I read the entire French for Dummies book last Summer.  It took a little under 3 months if I recall correctly.  I read THE ENTIRE THING - cover to cover!  I was proud of myself for having that much discipline.  Unfortunately, it didn't help a whole lot.  Those 21 chapters acted as a mild primer for the French I studied in High School 20 years ago.  I needed to be implementing what I was studying into everyday life.

I want to be a polymath - someone with a wide array of knowledge from things like mathematics, foreign languages, history, anatomy, etc...  Thought of going back to school... not sure.  I mean, I'm not so young anymore (coming up on middle-age).  College would just remind me of what school I experienced as  a kid.  I absolutely hated high school!  I have a bit of an unconventional style and mindset.  I think... a truly brilliant and clever person.. doesn't need school to be successful.  I've had people tell me to save the time and money and just buy books instead.  

I've been thinking of opening up my domain again - culturedmonk(dot)com.  I have a lot of ideas I want to share with the World, but at the same time I'm trying to be a little more anonymous/stealth on the web these days... I'm not going to reopen the domain I had under my full name... hmmm... but maybe I'll just stick to this blog here on Blogger.  I've had it for over 7 years now!

That's all for today.

- Lizzi     

Passion

How much easier life would be if I loved mastering what would earn me a lot of money... if I loved studying something that would get me somewhere.  I like chess, foreign languages wildlife - my three passions!  I've actually been making some recent progress with chess after all these years.  I used to have to force myself to study tactics, now I practice with Chesscom's tactics trainer for fun as well as to improve my game, and I am making fast progress.  My current Puzzle rating on Chesscom is 2300+ ...been climbing the ranks over the past few months.  In the past, I would try it for a few weeks, and if I didn't notice any improvement, I would quit.  Now, I've stuck with it and it has paid off... a lot.  But, you've have to be playing as well, and you have to be studying other books - study anything by Jeremy Silman.  You really need to go at it from all angles.  You'll improve if you do this, I promise.  I'm almost middle aged and am still getting stronger!  This applies to all else outside of chess, as well!  I studied French for Dummies over the Summer (2020).  I thought, I'll read this and then be a Francophone.  No, it doesn't work like that.  Again, you have to go at it from all angles!  I needed to be practicing the French I was studying and watching more movies en Francais.  And studying other French books whilst studying French for Dummies.  

"Chess demands total concentration and LOVE for the game" - Bobby Fischer

I think, perhaps, if we start studying something we love then all the studying we're are doing will help us become even more passionate.  I once had a friend from Italy who told me to find my passion for the game (chess).  He advised me to find my lost love again for chess.  I may have mentioned this in an earlier post... but yes, I think I have.  I just started playing more and thinking about chess more out of my own will and now the passion is back.  No, no quite what is was as when I was a teenager, but it's certainly there again.  

So, apply all of this to French?  Perhaps..  The seed is already there I just need to water it.  Work, come home, study chess, study French, watch a movie en Francais, go to bed, repeat.

I don't have time for women.  They will hold me back.  Nothing against women, I'm just not really a lover boy.  I've said this before (not here but to others in the past).

I need a job, first.. doiiiiiiiii !!!  Hmm...  I can't sit around this all day and do nothing but study.  I'll go insane!  I already feel like a p.o.s. for being a bum.  Not sure, what kind of work to do right now.  I would deliver pizzas first, but my car is not holding up very well.  **** fast food!  Maybe I'll bag groceries or something.  Making money online through web-publishing and what not is too hard!  I tried building an online brand over the years, but no one really gave two sh*ts about what i had to say.  I wanted to be a Youtube star jajajajaja  Every Youtuber does...   

There will be another day!

- Lizzi

9 Thoughts

Imagine as though you are meeting close friends and family members for the first time.  Would you still say hurtful things to them?  Would you not show them more respect? 

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 What did I learn from my Youtube channel?  ...my own hubris may very well be the downfall of me

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"Basically" is the most over-used word in the English language

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Stop caring if people like you or not, and you will see more people will like you as they will become aware that you are a genuine individual who feels good about themselves.  You will become more attractive!

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I don't like comedians, they're too happy... total bs!

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Extreme situations (life or death, heavenly pleasures, etc..) put us in a state where are so-called problems are no longer there 

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More money leads to more happiness through buying more experiences

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Boredom kills brain cells!

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Lizzi is still searching for his original idea!

~

- Lizzi

Chess

Even to this day I still am trying to figure out what I want to dedicate my life to.  Maybe chess is it, maybe not.  However, (I shouldn't be saying this) I lost my passion for the game (chess) many years ago.  I just don't have that drive in me anymore like I did when I was a teenager.  Actually,  I don't think I have a drive left in me for anything.  

Sometimes, I ask myself, "What is the point of playing chess competitively if  you're not going to get the master title and play on a national level?".  Why should I do it?  What is the point of playing just for fun?  On the other hand, without amateurs like myself, there would be  no professionals.  I guess you could say that by my playing, I'm supporting the game Worldwide.  

Can I still even improve my game at my age?  Sure, I can become more knowledgeable in endgames studying endgame diagrams, and I can expand on my knowledge of openings.  However, I doubt I can improve my core playing skill.  

I am good at the game (I won't deny that).  One of the best days of my life was a tournament I won back in 2012 in my hometown.  When I look back on it, I wonder how that didn't give me the motivation to start busting my ass everyday, working on improving my play.  I had an friend from Italy who once told me a while back to find my passion again for the game.  Is this really something someone can do.. to make things find passion again in something they lost their passion for before?  Maybe...  I think that, perhaps, chess is who I am (been playing in tournaments since 1996) and for me to give up the game is not being true to myself.  I wish I could find a career in chess organizations like the United States Chess Federation.  I mean, obviously I'm not going to be a professional chess player, but perhaps I can still find a profession in chess (in the chess world).

"You bring something to society by being a damn good chess player!"  -  G. Jokipii

I'm heading south soon.  I can't be around for the cold weather.  Some nights I have to sleep in my car.  I am effectively homeless at this time.  But, I have a car with a warm blanket, pillow and a lot of chess books!

- Lizzi 

Words...

 I'm back in the Midwest now, after visiting a friend in New Mexico.  I had to pick up a few things.  I am taking off again soon.  I'm not sure where to.  I'm not going back to AZ or NM again.. too many Covid restrictions!  I don't like!  

It has been an exhausting past month for me.  I have been on the go 24/7... even living out of my car for a couple of weeks #LifeOfaPoorMan  

I've been slacking on the chess studies for a while.  I did Chess.com tactics trainer on the iPhone App yesterday and today for the first time in a while.  I don't know when my next tournament will be.  I was planning on going to the 2020 National Open in Las Vegas this month, but I ran out of money by the time I got to Vegas.  At least I can say I've officially gambled in Vegas - I went through 27 dollars in less than 10 minutes.  I'm not even sure if the National Open ended up getting canceled.. I'll check right now!  Hmm,  not sure how to check for previous tournaments.  The USCF completely changed there website as well.  I just "Googled" it... The 2020 National Open was cancelled on September 8th by the Nevada Gaming Control Board.  Okay...  Notice I put "Google" in quotes.  I don't use Google.  I use private search engines like DuckDuckGo.  

Well, I'm going to watch a movie (The Luzhin Defence) and then go to bed.  I haven't seen "The Luzhin Defence" in many, many years and I don't remember much of it.  It was loosely based on the player from the 1800's - Bardeleben.  He was famous for walking out on a game against Steinitz after ending up in a lost position during a game for the championship I believe.  

There will be more! 

Thanks for reading!

- Lizzi