Let's Get Real #LGR

Life is hard. We all know this. I am working around 20 - 25 hours a week now and thought there for a while that I may have bitten off more than I can chew. I'm delivering pizzas in Saint Louis, Missouri and it really sucks! But, we all have to start somewhere. Mid 30's and just now trying to build a resume. But, let's get real! Life is hard! You can't half-ass your endeavours. No, success takes a lot of work. This has been a recent rude awakening for me. I very recently published my first Amazon Kindle book that is about chess. I hired an amazing graphic designer from Africa (check out twenty4hrdesign on Fiverr.com) to design the cover for it. I'm starting to realize that if you're going to do something, it's either go all-out or don't bother at all.. otherwise, you are just wasting your time. It looks as though things are finally starting to work out for me. I've got more money coming in every month and finally working hard to build my brand - "Cultured Monk Media". I recently re-opened the personal homepage - https://calvinterlizzi.com I'm going to start selling "Cultured Monk Media" merchandise when I get a little bigger web prescence and following. I have a couple ideas for my brand's slogans. I still have a lot of thoughts about going into professional gambling... bought a bunch of books on the subject a couple months ago. Yah, sounds so cool! And, obviously can potentially pay a Hell of a lot better than chess. I am in a room from someone's house. I found a pretty good deal. One of my roommates has two dogs. I love animals - especially dogs! Wildlife has always been a fascination of mine.p Anyways, guess that's all. And, sorry it's been so long since I've posted! Life is hard, let's get real! - Lizzi

Chess

Even to this day I still am trying to figure out what I want to dedicate my life to.  Maybe chess is it, maybe not.  However, (I shouldn't be saying this) I lost my passion for the game (chess) many years ago.  I just don't have that drive in me anymore like I did when I was a teenager.  Actually,  I don't think I have a drive left in me for anything.  

Sometimes, I ask myself, "What is the point of playing chess competitively if  you're not going to get the master title and play on a national level?".  Why should I do it?  What is the point of playing just for fun?  On the other hand, without amateurs like myself, there would be  no professionals.  I guess you could say that by my playing, I'm supporting the game Worldwide.  

Can I still even improve my game at my age?  Sure, I can become more knowledgeable in endgames studying endgame diagrams, and I can expand on my knowledge of openings.  However, I doubt I can improve my core playing skill.  

I am good at the game (I won't deny that).  One of the best days of my life was a tournament I won back in 2012 in my hometown.  When I look back on it, I wonder how that didn't give me the motivation to start busting my ass everyday, working on improving my play.  I had an friend from Italy who once told me a while back to find my passion again for the game.  Is this really something someone can do.. to make things find passion again in something they lost their passion for before?  Maybe...  I think that, perhaps, chess is who I am (been playing in tournaments since 1996) and for me to give up the game is not being true to myself.  I wish I could find a career in chess organizations like the United States Chess Federation.  I mean, obviously I'm not going to be a professional chess player, but perhaps I can still find a profession in chess (in the chess world).

"You bring something to society by being a damn good chess player!"  -  G. Jokipii

I'm heading south soon.  I can't be around for the cold weather.  Some nights I have to sleep in my car.  I am effectively homeless at this time.  But, I have a car with a warm blanket, pillow and a lot of chess books!

- Lizzi